" I didn't call you because I was giving you the requested time and space to think," I said."Well next time, call me and tell me that," she said."Got it," I said. "I'm leaving now." Why?" Because I am a man, and you look good, but I'm still pretty sure that's not why you told me to stay." I gave her time to tell me I was wrong, but she didn't.Instead, she came up to me, pulled my head down, and kissed me for a long, long time. When she was finished she pulled back and said "Thank you." Oh, my pleasure, believe me," I said."You're making this very difficult," she said."Life is hard," I said. The rest of it had been said so many times before that it just naturally tripped out of my mouth. "And then you die."She blinked and her face went still."I'm sorry. I didn't think. I didn't mean it like it sounded," I said, reflecting on how there is no better way to put a downer on an otherwise nice night than by reminding a woman of her dead husband."I know." She stepped back. "But you're right.". Abuzzer rings and I, following those in front of me, leadingthose behind me, walk through. Behind my pain and terror Ican't help feeling a little better. I'm outside. * * * The sun is dazzling, a brilliant, natural white thatwraps the clear blue sky in an aura of health and goodfeelings. There is a quick breeze blowing and it ripplesthrough massive stands of blue-green pines, carrying apleasant odor to our congregation. We are standing in alarge, well trimmed grass lawn surrounded on three sides byan ominous cement building. Towers and barbed wire blockus in on the fourth side. But I can still see outside this littlepiece of hell. I can see the distant, snow capped mountains oflate spring and hear a rushing creek. I am close to freedom. We stand, without order, in a large, silent group. Amass of terrible, mechanical bodies whom are incapable ofenjoying the beauty that nature has bestowed upon this day. My fear is beginning to.
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